Tank
by Silverskink
Summary: When friends appear brainwashed by a suspicious evangelical miracle weight-gain program, a Shining Mokole investigates.  Experimental story told from perspective of hero's sentient transport. Please review!
1. Reliquary

**Tank**

**Dramatis personæ**

The following characters are Player Characters, which means that while they are very well defined in terms of behaviour and relationships, they may bend a few stereotypes of the World of Darkness.

Kate Collins: Shining Gumagan Mokole, child of Volcano. Wrecker, trucker. Usually a young Australian aboriginal woman, occasionally a perentie, other times an oversized armour-plated spiny parasaurolophus.

Theodorus: Powerful being cursed in to form of mundane semi truck.

Zach Tizonneaux: Shrouded Mokole Mbembe, child of Finch. Brightly-attired copper-skinned youth. Trim archid form appears as a human-sized chameleon with gecko pads. Capable of human speech in any form.

Maxamillion Karnaj: Philodox Glasswalker ex-Shadow Lord, child of Hummingbird. Millionaire. Usually an ally of the Mokole. Infamously lacking in stamina.

Mr None: Theurge Bone Gnawer, child of Chameleon. Never gives his real name. Resident of Sept of the Quarter Bone Gnawer video arcade.

* * *

><p><em><strong>BEAST TANK<strong>_

_Tired of ragier auspices laughing at your wussy crinos form? _

_**BEAST TANK** ALL-NATURAL ANIMAL ENHANCER IS THE ANSWER_

_STRENGTHEN and TOUGHEN your **INNER BEAST** OVERNIGHT_

_Inspire your Galliards to song and your Ahrouns to ENVY with your ROCK HARD NEW WAR FORM_

_BIGGER. STRONGER. MORE POWERFUL._

_**BEAST TANK**_

* * *

><p><em><em>Although it was only two hours out of downtown Manhattan, the highway found itself amongst the countryside. Stretches of bush, isolated houses, the odd gas bar or barn dotted the scenery.

The junk yard cultured a preference for isolation. It was surrounded by a tall mesh fence that had recently been reinforced with congregated tin sheets for extra privacy. 'LUCKY TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT' was roughly spray-painted in large letters above a far more ambiguous collection of sprayed strokes which to some creatures read 'Dragons welcome'. A more formally recognized business sign greeted those who crossed the gate: 'Reliquary Wreckers'.

Beyond the sign a generous driveway snaked between restored stock and piles of wrecks. The dusty road formed a turning circle at the foot of a somewhat shabby two-story building that served as office and residence. Lurking behind the office loomed two large sheds, almost like aircraft hangers, questionably accessible beyond the sea of decomposing cars. To the right of the office, a branching road, a thick grove of pine trees, a couple of spare trailers and Theodorus.

Theodorus appeared as a large, black semi truck cab with a sleeper. His body was decorated with silver finishes, his chrome sparkled and his paint bore small silver stars. At a glance he resembled a mac truck with his large square grille, but an expert would have trouble determining his model. The yard was presently, as usual, empty of customers. While the other inanimate vehicles throughout the area sat lifeless and inert, Theodorus was a presence. He was stoic, and he was silent because he chose to be so.

When people encountered Theodorus, they remembered him.

Some people counted him as a friend or ally.

Some people had no idea how little they actually knew about him.


	2. Karnaj Mansion

"What the...?"

The look on Kate's face was a combination of disgust, disbelief and confusion, with an ever-present lurking hint of amusement.

"Max tried to sign me up for it," Zach explained.

"Max tried to..." Kate broke in to inevitable giggles as amusement won over. "Okay, not surprised. What is this about?"

Zach explained how he'd been 'invited' to a 'dinner party' at Karnaj Mansion that had turned out to be some kind of evangelical miracle weight-gain conference hosted by a Gurahl. "Max and Daedalus have both been... brainwashed, or something."

"It says here that it's a four-night event," Kate examined the flip side of the flier. "Tonight they're... having a 'Reach The Beast' inner-animal-finding around a campfire...Oooh! They're having a biting competition! I want to go!"

"No you don't," Zach promised. "I was hoping you'd see if you could find any leads on this product or this Gurahl. He gave me a sample, I'm going to see what my folks in the lab can make of it, then see if Mr None will help see what the spirits are saying about it."

"They gave you a sample? Did you try it?" Kate asked enthusiastically. Zach laughed.

"Seriously, Kate? 'Beast Tank'? I'm quite happily in tune with my inner beast, thank you. Even if I wasn't... I saw what it did to Max and Daedalus."

"I am totally going to Karnaj Mansion first!"

* * *

><p>The Karnaj estate was situated on a clifftop overlooking the ocean. Expansive grounds provided ample privacy to the magnificent family home of the Karnaj line. The mansion was foreboding Gothic affair, a deliberate effect of the Shadow Lords who had come before to remind guests that this home belonged to someone richer and more powerful than you. The castle-like abode included an expansive showcase garage for Max's cherished automobile collection, and lots of parking.<p>

Kate usually took Theodorus around to the side of the mansion to park, serving the dual purposes of not infringing on the parking and turning space of Max's friends, and more importantly, sheltering her beloved truck in the not-unlikely scenario that Max's mansion was suddenly besieged. Again.

Alongside the driveway was a magnificent garden sheltered by trees. A path ran parallel to the drive to the far end of the garden at the edge of the mansion where a small stone bench and table set overlooked the grounds, the mansion and the ocean.

It was at this stone table that Viktor Karnaj would sit and play chess. Viktor, a calculating strategist with a hunger for power only a Shadow Lord could know, was as excellent a chess player as New York had ever seen. It was one of the many things he excelled at to little fame, eclipsed by his other more noteworthy -and notorious- achievements. He would play against himself when he could not find a worthy opponent, which was fairly often.

He resolved scenarios that his contemporaries understood to be 'unsolvable' - solutions that would not be bought to light until decades after his death when computer simulations (re-)discovered them.

Viktor spent many years in his garden playing chess.

* * *

><p>It didn't matter that Kate had failed to contain her amazed amusement at Max's condition. The wolf was not in an overly perceptive frame of mind.<p>

"Impressive, isn't it!" He gravelled.

"Uh, yeah," Kate replied. She was certainly impressed.

* * *

><p>Viktor's Table had never seen a chessboard, or chess pieces. Nevertheless, it knew how to play chess as few did.<p>

"Have you been able to decide your next move, since we last met?" Viktor's Table asked.

"I have given it some thought, yes," Theodorus replied.

Neither the truck nor the table needed a physical visual representation of the game to play with each other. Theodorus did need time between visits to carefully consider his moves. The table did not require as much time.

"Bg7"

"Well played, Theodorus," the table commended. "I shall win in fifty-one moves."

"We will see," Theodorus replied.

* * *

><p>When Kate returned to Theodorus, she dropped her face in to her arms and laughed in great heaving sobs until she couldn't breathe.<p>

"That was awesome," She reported as she regained her composure. "Now we're going to the Brew'ry." Kate often spoke to Theodorus, but seldom expected an answer. She considered it a simple courtesy to inform him where he was being driven. "I wonder if that stuff had the same effect on Daedalus?"


	3. Brew'ry

There are no truly quiet streets in Manhattan but there are some that are quieter than most.

The Brew'ry was a 3-story building with a large window in front. Like most of the buildings on the street, the body of the building was original brick with ornate window decorations. Somewhere up at the crown a date could not really be made out in concrete amongst simple gargoyles.

Kate parked on the side of the broad road out the front of the Brew'ry, leaving Theodorus facing an adjacent department store. It was fairly derelict, most of the dusty windows bare but for some sun-faded CLOSING OUT SALE! signs.

* * *

><p>The owner of the Brew'ry looked up from his book as the door chime sang. When he saw it was Kate, he smiled pleasantly and put down what he had been reading. "Ah, good morning Miss Collins," he greeted. "How are you today?"<p>

"I'm good, thanks," she replied. "How're you?"

"Very well. What can I do for you?"

Kate glanced around the empty shop. "I have something a little bit strange here, and I was wondering if you could tell me anything about it..."

* * *

><p>"Why hello Theodorus! How wonderful to see you again!"<p>

Delores was a young woman, about Kate's age. She had angelic features, soft eyes, gentle lips and her hair flowed from beneath a cloche hat. She wore a flapper dress beneath a fur draped around her shoulders.

"It's lovely to see you too, Delores," Theodorus warmly replied. "It's been a while. How has the neighbourhood been?"

Delores appeared as a reflection in the window of the department store. Although the street around Theodorus was empty, in Delores's realm reflections of men and woman walked the streets, model T fords with canvas covers and white wall tires trundled down the road like gocarts. Theodorus could not see how he was reflected in Delores's realm.

"Well, times certainly ain't what they were," Delores started.

"You got that right..."

* * *

><p>As Kate passed the old lady coming in to the Brew'ry, her cell phone started to ring.<p>

"Wrecker."

"Kate, how's it going?" Zach.

"Er, good-bad. Karnaj mansion was hilarious as promised, but there were no leads at the Brew'ry. How about you?"

"Nothing useful. Can you come and pick me up at The Quarter?"

"Sure, that's not far from here..."


	4. Quarter

The neighbourhood of the Sept of The Quarter was just as derelict but no where near as deserted. An observer did not have to look far in to the shadows to see the rats feeding on the garbage. Here and there a bum snored from within his cardboard palace, or pushed a shopping cart full of 'genuine' Vedovelli handbags down the cracked sidewalk. Kate pulled up right outside the Sept. On the opposite side of the street, a stylized mural was hidden amongst the a jungle of old graffiti. What looked like a random collection of icons, glyphs and artwork were actually decorations on the belly of a thirty-foot skateboard. The skater's fingers could be seen cradling the bottom of the board, and part of a cheeky face and outstretched hand could be seen above.

* * *

><p>"I brought donuts," Kate announced as she entered the Sept.<p>

"Welcome back, friend," Highscore greeted with a grin.

"Is Zach around?" The dragon asked the wolf as he led her to the back of the arcade. Zach and Mr None were chatting over a table.

"So, Kate, have you tried the sample yet?" Mr None asked.

"No, have you?" Kate replied. Mr None smirked.

"Max came to get me first. I declined," he explained.

"Apparently I was his second choice," Zach added.

"Oho! Did you miss out!" Kate exclaimed.

* * *

><p>"Theodorus! How's it hanging, man?"<p>

Theodorus could not clearly perceive the mural, it was out of his line of sight. It was moving slightly at the corner of his perception, he just couldn't tell how.

"Not bad, Deckster. How about you?"

"It's all good, man. Grey skies are gone, sun is back, summer's warm... awesome!"

"Oh yeah, awesome," a gruff, cantankerous voice cut in. "The rats are overrunning the streets, the hobos are out of control, and it's been over six years since anyone dumped a body!" The speaker was also out of Theodorus's vision, but he knew what he would see if he could – a large, grimy dumpster sitting just inside an alley off the mural's south edge.

'Rats and hobos are what you get when you have Bone Gnawers looking out for you, bro," Deckster pointed out. "They're the reason we're thriving!"

"How is it that you consider fewer bodies being dumped a bad thing?" Theodorus asked.

"OBVIOUSLY it means one of two things," the dumpster reasoned. "One – all the wealthy people worth beating to death and robbing are gone. No more common folk. Or two- this place is so desolate that even the thugs have gone. Possibly just depressed to the point of absolute apathy. This neighbourhood has so little going for it even the scum can't be assed anymore."

"No way, Trashmouth," Deckster interjected. "No bodies are being dumped because no-one is getting murdered in the streets anymore. Garou have got your back, dude."

"_**DUDE**_, this is New York, in case you hadn't noticed," Trashmouth retorted.

"Man, you need to chill," Deckster laughed.

"Bite my shiny metal ass!"

* * *

><p>"So what did you come up with?" Kate asked as she walked around to the driver's side. Zach climbed in to the truck before answering.<p>

"We have a test to determine what it might be," he answered as he clipped in his seatbelt. "We're not entirely convinced this is Gurahl magic, this should settle that question."

"Yeah, this whole thing seems a little conceited for a Gurhal scheme," Kate agreed. "So we're going to the mansion?"

"Apple π is closer," Zach replied. "I just need to get a ...sample..."


	5. Pie Shop

The bakery known as Apple π was a tall, narrow two-story on a crowded street in Greenwich. The neighbourhood comprised of trendy cafes, second hand record sellers, boutiques and businesses that serviced a loyal niche of customers. Apple π 's customers watched the world through large windows that had been replaced many times. On the back alley was an entrance to the cellar and a narrow private car park with enough room for four small cars or one semi truck and one Lamborghini Jalpa.

* * *

><p>"Apple π is vegan now! Vegan! Really?" Kate was having a lot of trouble getting her head around the concept. They had arrived to find Daedalus was already out on some errand, so naturally Zach had decided he was hungry and ordered a slice of quiche, eat in. Kate ordered a coffee.<p>

"It's part of the program," Zach explained between mouthfuls. "Check that flier. Something about 'a hungry beast is an angry beast'. If you starve the beast it will be all the more vicious in battle."

Kate examined the flier critically. "Really? A Gurahl came up with this?" She frowned and folded it back in to her pocket. "All vegan, huh? You reckon those are eggs in that quiche?"

Zach paused mid-chew, looked at his snack, swallowed uncomfortably and slowly pushed his plate forward.

"Heh heh heh." Kate grinned as she sipped her coffee.

* * *

><p>"Is that you, Merlin?" Theodorus called. A gentle melody swimming just below the awareness of the general public suddenly paused.<p>

"Theodorus," came the reply. "It has been a long time." The speaker had a kindly voice but no face. Theodorus had encountered Merlin at various locations in the city. Merlin seemed confined underground somehow. Theodorus knew when he was around because Merlin spent his time singing. Merlin's songs had a gentle longing to them which Theodorus would have been content to listen to if Merlin had not so often chosen conversation instead. "What brings your maiden down to these streets today, if you don't mind me asking?"

"She fears a friend of hers has been taken advantage of, and she is investigating in hope of redeeming him."

"Ah, a noble endeavour no doubt. What is the nature of the peril?"

"That is a lot of what she is trying to discover. At present there is confusion as to the nature and motive of the perpetrator."

For each who harbours a weakness, no matter how small, there is a predator ready to exploit and benefit," Merlin sighed. "One can only hope that there is in turn a saviour of some kind. They are, in my experience, few and far between."

"We are out there," Theodorus replied. "Sometimes it can be frustrating when it's your own side that need rescuing so frequently..." His line of thought was interrupted by a new, much younger voice.

"Theeeeeeeodorus! Hey! How're you doing, man?"

_Oh great_, Theodors sighed inwardly. Merlin's sudden silence had an amused echo to it. "Hello, Sport."

"Yeah! I've just been out driving! It was awesome! We just got back," Sport announced, pointing out the obvious. Sport was a midnight-black, immaculately-restored Lamborghini Jalpa. Daedalus parked the car next to Theodorus before marching inside the pie shop. The truck watched him go. If the vehicle could have grimaced, he would have. He now understood what Kate found so funny. Sport was still talking.

"...and I waited for him, and he came back, and then we drove home. And I was just like-" the Jalpa gave a rev to end the sentence.

"You can rev? Whenever you feel like it?" Theodorus asked, surprised.

"Uh-huh," the Jalpa replied proudly. It revved again, twice for effect. "Mostly I use it to scare off birds, squirrels, you know. Back off!" - revrevrev- "Ha ha ha!"

"Huh. There's more Wyld in you than I thought."

"Oooooh yeah!" Sport crowed. For all its cocky Lamborghini attitude, Theodorus found Daedalus's car forgivabley juvenile and remained fond of it. It's hard to dislike a kid that looks up to you.

"Have you been out driving much lately?" he humoured the car.

"Yeah! Er... no.. well, lately, yeah," Sport clarified. "Usually Daedalus flies. But lately we've been driving lots!"

Theodorus wasn't surprised. He wondered if Daedalus could fly under the effects of Beast Tank. It didn't look like it. "That's great. Where have you been?"

The Jalpa described at length its various jaunts around New York, how fast it had travelled, things it had encountered, things it had out-raced, cargo and passengers it had carried. Theodorus listened with parental patience while the car enthusiastically told of its journeys. When the Jalpa abruptly stopped mid-sentence, he knew Kate had just walked in to view.

She was talking to Zach about something that had transpired inside the π shop. "Whatever. You made that look a lot easier than I thought it was going to be," she said as Zach climbed in to the passenger side. As she walked around to the driver's side she gave the Jalpa a loving look and a gentle brush with her finger tips. Theodorus could practically feel the Lamborghini tremble beneath her touch. "So are we going back to Karnaj mansion now?" She resumed talking to Zach as she closed her door and started the truck. The Jalpa gave a little sigh.

"Well, I'll see you Theodorus! Nice talking to you today!" It called as the truck pulled out on to the street.

"Happy travels, Sport," Theodorus called back.

"Bye, Kate," The Lamborghini whispered wistfully. It spent a few moments happily remembering the time she gave it, and gave another happy sigh. _I got to see Theodorus today_, it reflected. _Awesome_.

Somewhere, out in the street, a soft, gentle song had resumed. The Jalpa was aware of it but paid it no attention. The four year old child following his mother down the street heard it. He thought it sounded beautiful. The sound seemed to be coming from a storm water drain. He tottered towards the gutter. His mother noticed almost immediately, scolding him gently and grabbing his hand to shepherd him away.

In the sewer, Merlin watched with only mild disappointment. He'd catch one soon. He always did.

* * *

><p>Having administered Mr None and Zach's ad-hoc Gurahl-detecting talen to the Corax, the Mokole had determined that whatever the scammer was, he wasn't a werebear. Speaking to Daedalus before the testing fiasco, they had discovered that the program facilitator was in fact staying at Karnaj mansion and could possibly be found and confronted there. "So...no Dissolver taint?" Kate asked.<p>

"It's possible to mask," Zach conceded.

Kate kept her eyes on the road as Theodorus thundered towards the grounds of the mansion. "Whatever. Max, Daedalus, Mr None-" _Zach_, she thought to herself- "this thing is clearly targeting the weak. We're going to have no trouble tackling this one."


	6. The Inner Beast

The day was getting old already and evening was setting in by the time they reached the mansion. Kate pulled around the side right to the back of the mansion where, as they suspected, Max was overseeing the set up of the night's activities.

"There's the guy," Zach said, pointing out a weedy character in smart casual attire.

"Theodorus, how soon we meet again!" Viktor's table greeted the truck.

"Oho! That's it! How did he sell anyone on this?" Kate eagerly hopped out of the cab and strode towards the party.

"Hardly seems fair," Theodorus answered. "Although I do have an answer for you."

"Kate! I'm so glad you're here!" Max growled. "Let me introduce you to Guru Bruno!"

"There's no shame in taking enough time to carefully consider a move," Viktor's Table assured Theodorus. "Great games are not built of hasty moves."

"Charmed, I'm sure," Kate purred as she shook the Guru's hand. "I'm here to sign up for the biting contest. I'm a bit shy about my war form. D'you mind if I try out in private?"

"Oh, of course," Theodorus agreed. "I have actually given this particular game a lot of careful consideration. However, it has been so long since I met you last, I predicted some of your possible choices so that I may also prepare further moves."

"Well now, little lady, there's no need to by shy! We're here to help. How's about we have our own little contest right here, right now, before anyone else gets here?"

"A true strategist never has a single plan," Viktor's Table said.

"She also wants to sign up for the pissing contest," Zach interjected.

"No I don't," Kate quickly responded.

"Qe6," Theodorus gave.

"That sounds great!" Kate agreed enthusiastically. "Can I go first?"

"Interesting," Viktor's Table mused.

"Of course!" Guru Bruno beamed, giving Kate's shoulder a reassuring rub. He stifled his surprise – she had arms like an oak had branches. Tough cookie! "Then afterwards you can join our little party and we'll just wash those worries away! Are you ready, now?" He gave her a smile, then assumed a full, monstrous Gurahl crinos form.

'You're not surprised?" Theodorus asked.

Kate gave Guru Bruno an impressed frown. "Wow!" She exclaimed, craning her neck to look up at him. Then: "Warning. I am about to bite you."

"Uh, Guru Bruno-" Max tried to interrupt.

"I was wondering to myself if you would take the offensive or the defensive," Viktor's table replied. "I knew you would be working to strengthen your presence, but I could not decide if you would miss the opportunity to castle." The table spoke without concern for the screaming that had commenced somewhere on the far side of the truck. "Although I may not have suspected this. Am I to understand from this maneuverer that you have finished deploying?"

Zach and Max cringed in unison. "That's gonna hurt," Zach observed.

"I'm sure you can see how this has opened up the game, as opposed to increasing defences," Theodorus replied.

(Whoops!) Kate lost her balance and stumbled slightly, rattling all the windows in the mansion and causing nearby trucks, garden furniture and onlookers to rock slightly. A sofa-sized piled mass of fur fell at her feet like a rug, and something much smaller appeared to have been flung in to the garden.

"Hmmm." Viktor's table reflected on the implications of Theodorus's move.

"He's in the garden! He's- not a wolf!" Zach called, scrambling towards the fugitive Guru.

"A novel move, maverick, even," Viktor's Table remarked.

Something much smaller than a bear zipped through the garden, shortly followed by Zach with all the spirit of a parkour expert, who himself was reluctantly watched by Kate. As a dinosaur she could not follow due to Theodorus taking up the space she'd need on the road around. She gave a huff and turned around in search of a clearer path on the other side of the mansion. Theodorus watched her tail swing past while he waited in silence as Viktor's Table considered its options.

"Would it be premature to call the guests and inform them tonight's meeting is canceled, Sir?" Jeeves prompted Max.

"Er... probably not," Max conceded.

"Very good, Sir," Jeeves left the bewildered Garou.

"I'm reminded of a classic game from 1634 between Xu Yuhua and Dieter Svetushkin," Viktor's Table presently offered.

"Kate! No stomping over my patio!" Max growled.

" Svetushkin had an aversion to overly defensive play, and drew a reputation as an unorthodox master of the game."

_So you can do vertical walls?_ Zach thought, impressed. _I can do them better._

"I believe I may be calling on a move not entirely unlike something he encountered in that fateful game with Yuhua." Viktor's Table added.

(I wasn't stomping!) Kate called back over her shoulder to the Garou marching up behind her.

"What was remarkable about that game?" Theodorus asked.

"Kate, _lookout!_" Zach yelled. Too late.

"Svetushkin had been accused of insulting the honour of Yuhua's daughter, the princess Chaw-Xing. He-" the table paused its explanation while the overshadowing sound of a nearby explosion died away. "-was playing for his life. He lost."

_(Aaaaaaaaaargh!) _ Kate screamed. She was at the edge of the grounds. Her claws dug deep furrows in the neatly manicured lawns, her eyes wide and full of panic. She was was hanging over the cliff from the shoulders down.

"Such is the peril of over-estimating one's ability," Viktor's Table finished.

"Right..." Theodorus responded. He was growing slightly more distracted by external events.

On the other side of the mansion Zach reappeared over the garden wall to the sight of Kate clinging on to the edge of the cliff. "Not good," he muttered.

The table remained silent, oblivious or maybe indifferent to the drama.

Within a couple of pounding heartbeats Zach had reached Kate. He glanced at her hands. Every tendon and every vein was raised and visible, her knuckles pale, her hands locked in to the earth like roots.

"You're going to have to shift..." he urged.

(I can't! I'll lose my grip! And I'm bracing myself with my tail,) she strained.

"Pull yourself up!" came Max's voice. The Mokole exchanged confused looks. The voice seemed to come from over the cliff. Zach peered down.

Max was skewered on spines a little higher than Kate's hip, just out of reach. It didn't seem to be bothering him. "You could just pull yourself up if you were on BEAST TANK!" Max announced. He flailed his arms a bit. "Huuurrrrr!"

"Okay, shifting not an option," Zach agreed.

"It's all about your ATTITUDE, Kate!" Max asserted.

"Zach!" Theodorus called. "I have a winch."

Jeeves appeared from within the mansion and took in the scene. "Shall I call the groundskeeper and see if he is available for overtime, Sir?" the butler enquired.

"Can you hold yourself for a few minutes?" Zach asked Kate.

(_What!_?)

"I have to retrieve Max," Zach explained unhappily. "Once he is off you, you can get smaller and I can help you up."

Kate gritted her teeth. (Be quick!)

"I'll just go ahead," Jeeves decided, turning back in to the house.

The wall of the cliff was unstable soil. Zach tested it, found it lacking, and was overwhelmed by another wave of impending doom as he realized the cliff would not hold Kate for very long at all. "Okay, Kate. I can't get a grip on this cliff. Hold still." Zach trepidatiously picked footholds between Kate's spines over her shoulders and down her back. Hundreds of feet below him the ocean crashed in to the base of the cliff with a distant but persistent roar. Only a few feet down Max dangled like a worm on a hook.

"I'm glad you're here, Zach," Max was growling. "I know how it feels to be humiliated by a wussy war form. You should try Beast Tank!"

Max was hooked on a spine curved downwards towards the ocean. If he slipped any further he'd be sleeping with an untold number of historical former Shadow Lord enemies. Zach sighed inwardly. Nothing about this was easy.

"If I used Beast Tank and it did to me what it did to you, I wouldn't be able to be here _saving_ you right now," Zach pointed out as he struggled to unhook the Garou while maintaining his grip on Kate's armour. The wolf continued babbling about how he could drag the dinosaur up himself largely ignoring the fact that his middle was mostly mashed and several of his limbs weren't working. Zach strenuously hauled the wolf back up over the hazardous plates of armour before dumping him on the lawn. _That's one_, he thought glumly.

"Okay, Kate. I'm going back down the cliff. I'm going to support you from there. Take your suchid form. You should stay exactly where you are, but if you don't, I'll be right there to push you up. I think this is our best plan."

Kate nodded frantically. Her expression was utterly miserable. Zach delicately climbed back over Kate, acutely aware of her muscles twitching slightly under his padded grip. As quickly, as cautiously as he could he picked his way over her skin. He crawled to a secure station by her side and made himself as tightly adhered to the wall as he could. With one arm he gently supported her flank as she breathed panicked breaths. "Are you ready?" he called.

(No!) she replied. Then (Yes. As ready as I'll ever be...)

"Okay then..."

(One... two...three!)

In the split second that followed, the giant dinosaur that had been clinging to the cliff for her life was replaced by a significantly tinier lizard, who, with a frantic wriggle, slipped cleanly off the edge of the cliff out of the reach of the waiting were-chameleon. Zach had severely misjudged how much space the monitor lizard would not be taking up.

"Kd5," Viktor's Table decided.

Fortunately, split-second responses and inadequate limb-reach are not stumbling blocks for a chameleon's tongue.

* * *

><p>"I'm so glad I was unconscious for that," Kate said with a shudder.<p>

"You think it was bad for you," Zach answered. On the list of things Zach disliked being smacked in the face with, Kate ranked third position. "It could have been a lot worse. For both of us."

"What a crazy day. Max, Daedalus, the Quarter, the Brew'ry..."

_Delores, Merlin, Sport, Deckster, Trashmouth_, thought Theodorus. _And a garden table who is beating me at chess._

"What happened to that coyote in the end?" Kate asked.

"He escaped. I could continue chasing him, or I could catch you. I decided you were a higher priority."

"I'm thankful for that!"

_Me too_, Theodorus thought.


End file.
